What it's like to be a man

I have yearned in my heart to know you
to know what it's like to be a man

But I feel that you do not yet know you
or what it's like to be a man.

I dare not reveal I still love you
through your veiled smile
I taste your fear

Fear and woe and anger so deep, so deceitful
My love lost in the canyon between us
We misunderstand each other until the end of time
only aligned in our unique hate and pain
never again to cross with joy or happiness
I ache to not know 
what it's like to be your friend again.

Through my tears I know, I feel it
I am closer than you'll ever be
to be the hero, to be a whole man
who loves, owns kindness, and eschews cruelty.

Who wins here?  Who's the victor?
When I get to keep my love and woe
and you your indifference and secrecy?
Will I rise, even empty-handed?
Will love keep after time, through eternity
when unmatched, ignored, and deserted with firm purpose?

Although I am confused I understand
there is no why
there is no reason
and there doesn't have to be

But still I wonder 
what makes a man?  What makes a hero?
Do I have the strength to rise?
And be the woman, the hero,
my heart speaks to be?