One Day in May

One day in May

after weeks of feeling unwell

I felt okay enough

to till the soil

and sow seeds in my garden.

My garden you can see from the sky

Every once in a while

a little boy watches me from his window

and once a woman stopped to say

she enjoyed the flowers

that were still there

after her mother passed away.

One day in May

it was hot and then cold

I spread the soil

under a rake

and threw the seed unto the dirt

precious dirt

that I inhale

and the sun warms me

I thought of my past loves

and how they gave me

all I've ever wanted

How all my unrequited love

made me a wife

and gave me a life -- 

a good life

and a garden.

And for this I still love you

I look back to love you

and thank you for everything

I'm thankful for the hurt, dears

that ache helped me transcend pain

I now love life

and I embrace the fear

because I don't despise death

I've lived a life 

and keep living a life

and plant my garden

year after year.

Cleome, marigolds, sunflowers

zinnias, coneflowers, black-eyed susans: 

it's all easy

I just toss the seeds and they grow

and it's easy.

It's hard work,

but it's easy

and it keeps coming back

to reward all who sees.

I sometimes fear I'll not know you

you reject and resist my love for you

I'll never know why; but that's the lesson.

I know

that unrequited means I don't get it back.

I love, and am unloved

I love and am loved.

You've taught me there are some things

I don't get to understand

and it's not up to me

and one day I'll understand

I see it and I don't see

It's just love; why is it so hard to return it to me?

And a million other lovers wonder why

like a million burned out stars in the sky

like all the seeds I'll sow that won't make it

that are dead before touching the ground

or suffer a fate before they bloom.

I know you and yet I don't know you

I love you, but who are you?

Does it matter?  I know it doesn't matter

So I keep on doing it because what else is there?

Every year I plant the garden

every year another few inches of land I've conquered

I treat it well, it grows for all

in the fall I rip it out and let it be

but before that comes, I gather the seeds.

I collect in the heat

in the sun

I'm out with everyone else out

walking their dogs

driving by

playing in the street

peeking from their windows.

One of these days, you've gotta come see my garden

It's my love; it gets me out and about

the birds and bees and bugs come and take and live in it

and those blooms you can see from the sky.